Trying to Move Forward
by WRATH77
Summary: It has been said "time heals all wounds". I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protesting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. Buts its never gone.-Rose Kennedy. Time stamps for my destiel fic, And So it Goes. R&R
1. Building Bridges

John bit his lip nervously as he drives to Dean's house.

He was going to meet his grandson for the first time.

It has been six months since Castiel died and deep down, he thought Dean has forgotten about him. He wouldn't have blamed him. He should be grateful that Dean would even humor him. Sam didn't want him near his twin girls.

He shouldn't be surprised, he been a fuck-up as a father.

When Mary died, a part of John died with her. He couldn't raise his children, wouldn't even try. He just shoved all that responsibility on Dean, which wasn't fair for his son. Dean took care of Sam and his own sorry ass and he was never grateful for it. Hell, his son came out to him and he punched him on the face and threw him out, missing so much of his life and Sam's.

It has taken 15 years to get to where he is now, 15 years of bottles, sobriety, AA meeting and self-flagitious to get here.

He gulped nervously as he stopped the car in front of the house and walked to the door. He pushed the doorbell and waited as he tapped his foot nervously. The door opened and he blinked.

"Sam?"

His youngest son glared at him, his 6'4 frame making him look frightening.

"Why are you here?"

"D-Dean invited me." John said, making Sam glare at him in suspicion, but he sighed.

"Follow me." Sam said, taking note of the home. It was nice and he saw a lot of photos on the wall, seeing baby pictures, family photos and wedding photos.

"Where's Dean?"

"In the bedroom." Sam said, "It's…a bad day."

John nodded, knowing what he means. Those days that the grief is too strong, that you wonder why you even bother to get up in the morning. He goes to the living room and sees a 6 year old boy with a sock of black hair drawing in a coloring book. He looks up at John for a second, scrutinizing him. John felt a lump in his throat.

He has green eyes.

Dean's eyes.

Mary's eyes.

John smiled and knelt down to the child's height. The child stopped looking at him and went back to coloring.

"Hi there, buddy."

The little boy looked up at him and gave a small smile.

"Hi."

"What's your name?"

"Robbie, I named after my grandpa."

John stiffened as a ball of anger and resentment formed in his chest.

He was the boys grandfather, he was! Not Bobby! What the fuck it means by Bobby being the grandfather?!

But as quickly as it came, the feeling quickly left. Bobby took care of the boys when he didn't. He always welcomed them with open arms.

"How are you doing, Robbie?"

"I'm sad because Daddy is sad. I don't like it when Daddy is sad."

"He's hurt kiddo. He misses your poppa."

"But Poppa is an angel. Daddy's said grandma use to say angels watched over him and since papa is an angel, he's watching over us."

John blinked at Robbie's logic and smiled warmly. Dean and Castiel raised a good, smart kid.

"What else does your daddy do?"

"He sings Hey Jude to me. He said Nana used to sing it to me. He plays baseball with him and builds stuff. He also likes to give hugs."

Robbie then frowned.

"I miss papa, though."

John smiled sadly, smiling at the adoration in Robbie's voice and the wistful voice when he mentioned Castiel. Robbie then looked up and grins.

"Daddy!"

John looked up and saw a very tired looking Dean enter the room. Robbie got up and hugged Dean's leg. Dean smiled and picked up Robbie in his arms.

"Are you better, Daddy?"

"I am now."

Robbie smiled as he rested his head on Dean's shoulder. John stood up and smiled as Dean started to rock his son in his arms.

"You both raised a good kid."

"Yeah. I know." Dean whispered, "I know."

**AN: Here is a timestamp for my story "And So it Goes", its been six months since Cas died. **

**I have to thank AngelOfTheMoor for this; she gave me the idea for John to meet Robbie. Thanks hun.**

**So Dean is still grieving and has bad days. Sam and his family are there for there. John is trying to be better; Sam is still antsy around him. **

**There will be more timestamps here.**

**Anyway, comments are loved! I don't own SPN, just Robbie! **


	2. He Was There

Bobby Singer was there since the beginning.

He was there when Dean and Castiel became best friends; a six year old Dean chattering about the young boy with the funny name.

He was there when Dean came out to him as bisexual and that he deep down liked Castiel.

He was there when John kicked Dean out. He remembers Dean showing up at his doorstop with a black eye and a crying Sam at his side. How Dean mumbled that John didn't take the news well and Castiels own family kicked him out too. He remembers the two boys lying in bed together, holding each other and trying to muffle their sobs. Bobby pretended not to hear them.

He was there when the boys went to college.

He was there when they graduated.

He was there when Sam and Jess got married, with Jess already having a bun in her oven.

He was there when gay marriage became legal in Kansas and Dean and Castiel quickly went to City Hall, with him and the others as witnesses.

He was there when they adopted their son; he will never admit as long as he is alive that he cried when they named their son after him.

He was there when Castiel was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer.

He was there when Dean came knocking at his door at midnight and then stumbled in white as a sheet.

"Dean, what's the matter?"

"Cas…oh god, Bobby…its Cas." Dean mumbled. Now Bobby was scared himself.

Dean just kept mumbling, so Bobby finally sat him down and poured a shot of whisky for each. Dean drank it with gusto and spilled everything.

How Castiel has been sick lately.

How they went to a doctor and he said that Castiel had terminal lung cancer and at most, has a year to live. How Castiel refuses to have chemotherapy, saying it will only delay the inevitable.

"Bobby, what am I supposed to do? How am I gonna live without him?"

Bobby didn't know how to answer that, but all he did was hugged him.

They next few months were brutal with appointments, tears and family. Bobby cried openly with they all said goodbye to Castiel. He remembers the drive back with Ellen, a somber silence between them.

"It isn't right, Ellen." He said, "It ain't right."

"It sure isn't." She said with a nod.

"I love Castiel as my own. He is like a son to me." Bobby said, "He wasn't supposed to go first, I was. Not one of my boys was supposed to go first."

That was when Ellen pulled the car over and they hugged each other tightly.

He was there at the funeral, everyone somber and too grieved to even cry.

He was there when John Winchester wanted to come back into his son's lives. Bobby was tempted to stand guard on the boy porches with his shotgun ready. But Dean calmed him and John promised to behave, so far he has.

Bobby was there when Dean wanted to talk him after a year Castiel died. They were on the porch, drinking a beer.

"Hey, Bobby." Dean said, "How do you do it?"

"Do what, boy?"

"How did you move on from Karen? How did you later move on to Ellen?"

Bobby stopped drinking and stared at Dean.

"Where is this coming from?"

"Jess thinks maybe I should start dating again."

"Do you want to?"

"I…don't know. Maybe yes. Maybe no." Dean shrugged, "I still feel…feel like I'm betraying Cas."

Bobby nodded, understanding now.

"Look, Dean you date when you are ready. I didn't meet Ellen until years after Karen's death. Ellen is not Karen, but she would always hold a special part of me. Moving on is not betraying their memory."

Dean nodded, looking deep in thought. Bobby hoped he gave sound advice.

But he will be there for Dean.

**AN: Now here is another one-shot of my "And So it Goes" verse, this time with Bobby. I did kinda the same style with my first one, this time I did with He was there. **

**I do love Bobby, hated when they killed him off in the show. He was such more of a father to the boys then John ever was. So, here he's grieving for Castiel, who he loves as much as son. I also like how they put him together with Ellen, they were such a power couple. So, I put he's married with Ellen here, but he still lost Karen.**

**Also, someone had commented that I wasn't clear with the type of cancer Castiel had, so I'm hoping that this fic will clear it up.**

**Comments are loved! I don't own SPN!**


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